Post Tenebras Lux, Orpost Tenebras Spero Lucem Part 1
by AlwaysAbby
Summary: A kinda AU missing scene/continuation from Inter Arma Silent Leges. This is the story GeorgieGinger and I wrote together! I'll be posting part 1; part 2 will be on Georgie's account. Warning: There is torture and rape Note: Because I am American and Georgie is British spellings from both sides of the Atlantic can be found in the story. Sorry if it's confusing! Don't own Star Trek
1. Chapter 1

"Who are you working for?" Koval asked with a hint of annoyance.

When he got no response, he tried again. "Why are you here?"

When Bashir defiantly didn't answer, Koval looked at his fellow Romulans "Bring him,"

Julian was roughly grabbed by both shoulders and hoisted out of the chair, before he was lead out of the room. He expected to go back the way they came, but instead, they turned the other way.

He still felt groggy, the implants had _hurt! _It felt like his brain had been had tried so hard not to let them read his thoughts; it took so much effort to prevent it. He could feel his uniform stick to his sweaty body as he was walking down the corridor. It was unnerving for him that they didn't walk past anyone; _where were they going?_

Koval suddenly stopped, turned and looked at Julian "If you please, doctor." He gestured to the room.

Julian just stared at Koval's eyes, if he was to enter the room, it would be forcibly. He wouldn't be tricked into willingly entering what was clearly an interrogation room ever again.

"Doctor…" Koval began to say, before stopping and signalling the guards.

Julian was grabbed around the throat by an arm, he tried to pry it off of him, but an elbow jabbed him in the stomach. He was seeing stars, his vision was dimming and he gave one last attempt to get the hand off of him, only to be forced to his knees and brutally kicked in the ribs.

The arm disappeared from his throat and he collapsed to the floor, holding his stomach tightly and coughing convulsively. The Romulans took the opportunity to grab hold of his ankles and drag him inside the room, bolting the door shut behind them.

The room lit up upon their arrival, revealing a table with straps on it, its purpose obvious. Julian was placed on that table, too dazed to fight back. In no time at all, he was strapped down by his wrists and ankles.

Koval gave a smirk and walked towards Julian, who was blinking repeatedly, trying to get the world in focus.

"I have tried to use _less _painful means of getting the information I want, doctor. Now you leave me no choice but to use more barbaric tools." He looked up at one of the guards "Bring the tools from the other room; I want to start with the _preultium pliers." _

When the guard left, Julian began to regain his senses. He knew he was strapped down; he couldn't move. He felt his heart begin to quicken in his chest and his stomach churn. He turned his head to seek out Koval, who was sitting calmly at a desk, reading through a PADD.

Julian coughed, trying to get the Chairman's attention. He succeeded. Koval lifted his gaze to see Julian stare at him, just as quickly as his eyes lifted, they dropped back down to his PADD.

Just when Julian was going to say something, he heard the door open. For a short moment he truly believed that it would be someone to help him, but his beliefs were thrown out the window when it was the guard who entered, a tray of painful looking tools in his hands.

Trying desperately not to panic, Julian turned his head back to Koval "You don't need to do this. I'm not your enemy, Koval."

His breath was hitched, he couldn't stop gulping. He had read about Romulan torture; he was not looking forward to it.

Koval stood up and ignored Julian, he walked over to the guard who held the tray and placed it carefully next to Julian's line of vision. "These," he pointed to a tool, looking much like the pliers Miles used "Are the _preultium pliers." _

He picked them up and studied them "You say you are not my enemy, doctor. Forgive me when I say I do not believe you." He kept hold of the pliers and turned to look the other guard "Hold his head in place,"

Julian couldn't do anything to defend himself as the guard marched up to him and grabbed hold of his forehead, forcing it down onto the table. Julian's head made a _thud _from the impact and he tried to lift his head, but the hold was too strong.

"Let's begin shall we…"

Koval looked at the doctor, wondering how humans could be so weak, he was obviously scared, his breathing was erratic and he was sweating again.

He moved his free hand to grab hold of Julian's, picking out a finger at random.

At the touch, Julian balled his fist up as tight as he could. He knew what was to come and he tried again to reason with Koval, before a sharp pain hit him in his groin. Someone had delivered a solid punch there and he yelled out, unclenching his hand as he tried to curl up.

Koval took the opportunity to grab his forefinger an iron grip; Julian wouldn't be able to pull it away. "This will not be pleasant, doctor," was all he said as he squeezed the pliers on Julian's nail, slowly pushing the metal between nail and flesh, blood already seeping out.

Julian clenched his teeth against the pain; he refused to let himself scream, but he found it so difficult! This was such a simple torture technique, used for centuries and yet it was total agony!

One hard yank and the nail came loose; blood was covering its previous place and dripping onto the floor. Koval moved the pliers and dropped the bloody nail onto the tray. He looked at Bashir's pained expression; he would try his questions again.

"Who are you working for?"

Julian didn't answer, the pain was excruciating, but he couldn't give up the information. He moved his eyes and stared at Koval, before he opened his mouth "I'm a Starfleet Officer with the rank…" He bit his tongue as Koval moved to his thumb, pulling the nail out quickly this time.

After dropping the bloody nail on Julian's face, he asked again, just as calmly as before.

XXX

It wasn't long until Julian had no nails left, blood staining his hands and the table. He tasted blood from where he bit his tongue, trying not to scream. He originally thought that he would get used to the pain, but it just seemed to get worse with each finger.

"It seems we've run out of nails, doctor." Koval said devoid of all emotion. "It looks like we'll need the _laser scalpel._" Koval saw the slightest shudder run through Julian's body. Koval smiled with satisfaction at the doctor's reaction. He was only getting started. He would break the Human.


	2. Chapter 2

"Is this really worth it, Doctor?" Koval asked conversationally as the guards stripped Julian of his upper clothes, leaving his bare torso visible. Julian wouldn't let himself show his fear; he was a Starfleet Officer. He wouldn't allow himself to be broken!

Koval stared intently at Julian's face, trying to read his expressions. He picked up the laser scalpel off the tray and moved back to Julian's side. He turned the device on and began a deep incision on Julian's left shoulder. The smell of burning flesh drifted around the room as soon as the tool cut through skin and muscle. Koval moved the scalpel downwards from his shoulder right down to his wrist. Blood came streaming out the wound immediately. It was a precise tool and wouldn't do any permanent damage unless Koval wanted it to, but Julian didn't know that.

Koval turned the scalpel off and looked at the wounded arm with disinterest, before lifting his gaze to Julian's face and leaned forward "But I don't suppose you'll still be in that profession when we no longer have a use for you. Your life's ambition, gone, all for one little secret." There was a look of pain in the Human's eyes. A pain deeper than any scalpel could cut; a pain that came with the loss of one's future. Koval gave a little smirk and started on the right arm, as soon as the laser hit Julian's skin, he cried. Tears leaked down his face as an instrument he had used to save lives was used to torment him. The stench of fresh blood filled the chamber and Julian slowly sank into the black void, unconscious.

XXX

Koval sighed as the Human lost consciousness and went limp. He snapped his fingers at the guards. "You better heal him before he bleeds to death. I still want answers!"

The guards began healing the skin over the wound to prevent blood from escaping. They didn't want to waste their medical tools to fully heal this Human, just heal him _enough _to prevent death by blood loss. Once the guards had finished their work, one pulled out a hypospray and pressed it to Julian's neck, reviving the doctor.

XXX

When Julian awoke, he was surprised and just a bit disappointed to find he was not dead. Shaking off the morbid feelings, he glanced down at his arms, assuming they'll be a horrific sight, but was confused to see that his arms were no longer cut open. The skin had been healed, but underneath torn tissue ached. It was a duller pain than the cuts had been, but hurt just as bad.

"Ah, Doctor, glad to see you're with us." Koval greeted him with a sinister smirk. "Do you have an answer for me?" Julian rebelliously didn't respond. He just stared in front of him.

"I thought not," Koval said casually. "We were prepared for that eventuality." He reached once again to the cart of horrors and Julian tried to fight the fear that had encompassed his existence.

"Starfleet isn't coming for you, Doctor." Koval taunted, holding up his newest toy. "No one is."

XXX

Julian's screams echoed throughout the room; it was _agony! _

When Koval had lifted his latest toy, Julian's heart leaped. He didn't know what it was; his imagination was coming up with a million different possibilities. None of them ended up being the truth.

Koval signalled to the guards, who walked to either side of Julian's head. He felt a contraption lower of his head, preventing him from moving it. He began to speak, trying to reason with the Romulans "Listen to me! I'm just a Starfleet Officer who came here to do a talk, I'm not…" His sentence was cut off as a Romulan guard shoved his fingers in Julian's mouth, prying it open.

His eyes went wide, _damn his mouth! Why did he have to speak?! _

Julian tried to shut his mouth, but the guard was strong, using two hands to open his mouth as wide as it could go.

Koval lifted up the device, now realising what it was. He had seen a picture of it in a book at the Academy. He tried to struggle even more, but straps suddenly appeared round his chest, stomach and thighs. He was immobile as Koval stalked up to him and held the device just above his mouth.

Julian shut his eyes tight. He didn't want to see Koval's unperturbed face.

He saw the Human shut his eyes and shook his head slowly "Closing your eyes won't do a thing, Doctor." He said as he dropped the device in Julian's mouth.

He felt it slither round his mouth, trying to gain access to his throat. He kept coughing, trying to stop it, but Koval slammed his fist down on Julian's abused hand. He screamed and the mechanical insect crawled down his throat, scratching his insides as it crawled along.

Almost immediately he started screaming, sharp jolts of pain hit him in random places, where the insect was crawling around inside him. He remembered this device.

The _Chirat_ crawled around inside its victim, stabbing tiny holes everywhere it went. In most cases it was used as a last resort, resulting in the victim dying from internal bleeding. But Koval was using it for the sole purpose of inflicting a new kind of pain, one biting at Julian's internal organs.

Koval kept counting in his head, knowing when the _Chirat _would travel into the Human's abdomen. When the time came, he turned on another device, attracting the _Chirat _like a magnet.

Julian screamed even more as the insect tore through his abdominal muscles and skin to break out of his body. Blood sprayed out as the device crawled out, leaving Julian's stomach covered in blood.

The guards acted quickly as they repaired the wound, again, not caring for the torn muscle.

Julian fainted as soon as he felt the device cut through his skin. He went limp and Koval picked up the bloody device and turned it off.

Deciding it was time for lunch, he walked out the room, leaving Julian's unconscious form in the room with the guards. "Do what you want," Koval said casually "Only be sure to leave him alive."


	3. Chapter 3

The guards exchanged gloating smiles. While the taller one gave Julian a hypospray to wake him up, the shorter one pushed aside the cart. Unlike Koval, they didn't care for the finesse or elegance of torture. They preferred brute force.

As Julian was forced back into consciousness, he immediately attempted to curl up protectively around his wounded abdomen. He didn't get far, as his mind began to focus, he remembered he was still strapped down. Opening his eyes, he looked around and realized that Koval was no longer in the room. His heart leapt! A reprieve, even a small one, from the omnipresent pain was like a miracle. However, his hopes were dashed when it became apparent the guards had plans of their own.

The short one noticed he was awake and grabbed his already tormented hand. Julian couldn't do anything to prevent it, his heart began thumping and he squeezed his eyes tight. The guard selected a finger at random and with a sharp twist, broke it, snapping the bone neatly in two. He continued the same torture with his other fingers.

Julian howled at the pain. _His hands, his hands, god, not his hands again!_ The guard looked at the other Romulan, and moved over to his other hand. Five more sickening cracks later and the guard stepped back, satisfied with his work.

Julian's fingers were mutilated; bleeding, bent at odd angles… He couldn't believe it! What's a surgeon without his hands? A good doctor could heal the wounds, but only if they were treated as soon as possible. Who knew when he would see a doctor? Who knew if he would ever get out of here?

Squeezing his eyes shut, he began taking deep breathes, willing his respiration down. What would happen to his career? He loved his job! He had worked so hard to become a CMO. Now, all of that was taken away from him in no time at all.

The tall one noticed the Human's obvious pain and fear. He moved forward, to the prone Human. Completely at his mercy.

"My turn," he said with a sickening smile.

Julian kept his eyes shut, trying to mask his fear. It was a futile attempt.

"If you thought that was bad, just you wait." The guard moved over to the tray and grabbed a knife. He began cutting through the rest of the Human's jumpsuit.

In no time at all, Julian was naked and very scared. He didn't want to be conscious for what was surely to come.

"Ruril. Help me," the tall guard ordered.

The small guard, Ruril, came to stand next to the tall one "What are you doing, Jikar?"

Jikar leered "Help me move him into position."

Julian felt his lower body bend upwards, his stomach muscles were pulling at the movement and he cried out.

When he came back to his senses, he felt his knees bent up and his rear end up in the air. "N-no! Please!"

"Shut up, Human!" Julian wasn't even sure who said that, he couldn't really hear anything past the thundering of his heart in his ears.

For a while nothing happened and Julian thought they were going to just leave him in the embarrassing position. That was until he felt something poke him between his upper thighs.

He tried to struggle but every movement caused shooting pain in his stomach; he had to cope with the foreign object entering him.

Jikar hissed with pleasure as he pushed a little further; he loved it. The fact that it was his own body that was causing such pain to the Human made him chuckle.

"It can get a lot worse, Human," he said as he pushed further in and Julian screamed.

One more push and Julian fainted; blood was trickling down onto the Romulan as he continued the torture even though the victim was unconscious. The Human would be in immense pain when he woke up.

XXX

Koval returned just over an hour later to find his prisoner in a bloody heap on the table. It was clear by the position the Human was in and the dried blood caking his thighs what had happened "Looks like you had fun. He better not be irreparably damaged." He sounded like an adult scolding children over a broken toy. "Hypospray," He ordered.

Once the drug entered in Julian's system, he regained consciousness. When his eyes opened, he focused on Koval, who smiled like a snake.

"Perhaps now you'd like to share some information with us? If not, I'm _sure_ Jikar would love to play with you again." The Human didn't respond. Angry at his threat going ignored, Koval backhanded Julian across the face. His head was thrown to the side, but other than that, the only reaction was a barely audible whimper.

Without warning, Koval wheeled on the guards, enraged. "YOU IMBECILES!" He thundered. "YOU WENT TOO FAR!"

Jikar and Ruril quailed at the sudden fury. "But-" Jikar began.

"HE SHUT DOWN!" Koval continued to shout. "I'LL NEVER GET ANY ANSWERS FROM HIM NOW!"

XXX

Koval was staring intently at the Human's face, trying to determine the best way to bring him back. Julian continued to stare at him, not even twitching as Jikar was healing the torn veins. "WE'RE NEEDED AT THE HEARING IN FORTY MINUTES! WE NEED TO HURRY IT UP!" Koval shouted at the other two.

Ruril moved to get the necessary instrument, to _force _the Human back from within himself.

Jikar finished his work, admiring the now-healed skin. This Human was delightful; he _enjoyed _what he did and he would do it again given the opportunity. "It's all healed, sir."

"RURIL!"

Ruril was moving as fast as he could. He placed the instrument on Julian's head and turned it on. The Human would regain his senses in time for the hearing.

Koval was tapping his fingers on the table "How long?"

Ruril was growing annoyed, but he knew better than to let it show "Won't be long now,"

True to Ruril's words, Julian's eyes began to move, his face was grimacing as his mind was brought to the surface.

Koval was staring at him, smirking at the pain on the Human's face.

He twitched! And he was slowly becoming aware of his situation. His eyes focused on Koval's and he groaned.

"Welcome back, Julian Bashir…" Koval said suavely.

Julian just shut his eyes.

"We're due in the hearing room shortly, Doctor. I want you to memorise this. I'm sure you'll find it easy with your enhancements," he waved a PADD "If you don't… I'll make sure that everyone you've ever cared about dies, starting with the Chief O'Brien'snewest addition," Koval said with grim satisfaction.

"You can't do that," Julian protested weakly. Koval gestured to Ruril, who unfastened Julian's arm from the bond and severely twisted it behind his back. Julian let out a gasp of pain. Jikar was just leering at him from the corner, wishing he could go another round with the Human.

"Are you in control, Doctor?" Koval asked dangerously, leaning close to Julian. When he didn't answer, Ruril gave his arm another painful yank. He was close to breaking the bone!

"No," Julian whispered.

"Who is in control?" Koval demanded.

Julian's face screwed up from the pain, he weakly shook his head, trying to banish everything that was happening to him.

"Doctor… I assure you things will go smoothly and less painful if you admit the obvious," Ruril hissed in his ear.

"Listen to Ruril, Doctor."

Julian still didn't answer, and his arm was given another tug, he could feel his muscles resisting the movement.

"Well! I think you've got enough time to have another go, Jikar…" Koval said maliciously.

He smiled when he saw the Human's eyes fly open, already struggling against the bonds and Ruril's arm.

"N-n-no! Not a-again!" Julian sought out Koval's face, giving him a pleading look.

Koval smiled and waved Jikar away. "Who's in control?"

"You are," Julian said, defeated.

"That's right, we are," Koval said smugly "and we can do whatever we want."

Sure his message had sunk in; Koval instructed Ruril to let his arm go and release Julian from his bonds.

Julian winced as he sat up; his stomach was still pretty painful. As if reading with thoughts, Koval began speaking "We've only superficially healed your wounds, doctor. No one will ever know what happened to you. Replicate another uniform."

XXX

The hearing passed in a blur for Julian, who wasn't all there. The constant pain all over his body and the recalling of his trauma kept his mind from focusing on the Romulans talking. Julian found he had no room to be surprised at the turn of events; he just wanted it to be over, like a nightmare he could wake up from. He was taken to a small cell deep in the bowels of the establishment; _no one would easily find him here_. The cell lacked even the meanest furnishings, but as long as it wasn't the interrogation room Julian was relieved. Curling up in the far corner; he hoped he'd done everything to Koval's specifications. He kept imagining Miles with two child-sized coffins... Shaking his head to get rid of the awful thought, he wondered if they'd let him go. He wondered if, no, _when _Starfleet would come looking for him. Even if he couldn't get permission, Captain Sisko would come for him. He would. He had to!

Deciding he didn't have anything else to do, he shut his eyes and attempted to sleep, but the sudden sharp pains that racked his entire body kept him awake.

He couldn't prevent his mind from going over everything that had happened, but the _one _thing that kept replaying in his mind was the rape.

It hurt! It was infuriating that he couldn't do anything to prevent it, just lay there and take it all. Jikar was _brutal! _It seemed to have lasted forever, a continuous pounding until Julian went numb from the pain. He didn't even notice when Jikar withdrew, walked over to his head and let himself drip on Julian's face.

He still hurt down there; blood had begun to soak through his uniform pants.

He spent the rest of his time in the cell haunted by his torture, not even blinking, afraid of the shadows.

XXX

"We need to release him," Koval stated simply as he was strolling back to the Human's cell.

Jikar cursed "Why?"

"Starfleet is getting suspicious. We need to remove his memory and send him back as soon as possible."

"Well. Can I have one last go?" Jikar asked

"No. We need to get him prepared and send him back. I found out most of what I need to know from him." Koval smirked and he turned the last corner.

"What?" Jikar inquired.

"The scanners were able to recover some fragments which have been pieced together; I ran another check over the readings when I left him to the two of you." They stopped outside the cell and opened it. Light flooding the entire room and revealing the pitiful sight of the Human doctor.

"Grab him and take him to the medical bay; I'll inform Doctor Truh."

Jikar walked in and grabbed Julian by his collar, before throwing him out of the cell, instructing him where to go to have his memories replaced.

XXX

Koval was smirking. Memory removal and replacement was _very _painful, he enjoyed hearing the agonized cries of the victims.

Fortunately for him, the process wasn't exactly _easy. _It involved getting access directly to the victim's brain via an incision.

When the doctor had been strapped the chair and have his head restrained, Koval could see his fear.

He must admit, the Human was hiding his pain pretty well. That was until the incision to the skull and the syringe entered the brain tissue.

The doctor's scream was music to his ears! Blood was covering the "surgeon's" hands and tools as he was removing the correct memories and replacing them with altered ones. Koval walked around to get a better look at the process, interested in the Human organ. He kept staring as the surgeon began to heal the wound, leaving a light scar on the back of Julian's head.

After using a regenerator to grow Julian's hair back, the surgeon left. Julian was unconscious as soon as the memories had been altered, leaving Jikar to carry him back to the doctor's quarters.

XXX

Julian's shuttle was due to leave in nine hours, that should give the Human long enough to recover and get ready.

Jikar smirked, he was considering if he could quickly have another go. He _did _bring a dermal regenerator with him, which would allow him to remove any sign of the assault. The doctor would be completely out of it for six hours and Star Fleet would never find out.

Ordering the computer to seal the doors, Jikar unfastened his uniform pants and approached the helpless Human.


	4. Chapter 4

Julian stepped off the _Bellerophon, _glad to be back home. It had been an eventful trip! His first "assignment" for Section 31 could have ended a lot worse; he had come out alive and in pretty good shape, apart from a slight cramping in his stomach. It was probably something he ate. He took a pain repressor and the cramps subsided.

He continued walking to the Promenade, wanting to get back to his Infirmary to check on things when the Chief caught sight of him.

"Julian!" Miles waved at him from across the Promenade. Julian grinned and went over to see his friend. "So how was Romulus?" Miles asked as the two of them began a slow walk to the Infirmary.

"Fine," Julian replied. He was just thinking of his experience when a sudden, urgent thought occurred to him. He stopped walking and stared at Miles. "Chief, is Yoshi okay?"

Miles stopped as well, confusion on his face. "Of course, why wouldn't he be?"

Julian shrugged. He just had a strange feeling that he was in danger. "What about Molly, is she alright?"

"Everyone is _fine,_"Miles assured Julian, unable to ascertain the cause of his friend's concern. "It's not like a plague broke out while you were away." Julian laughed despite himself, but couldn't quite repress the uneasy feelings flitting around the outside of his thoughts.

XXX

After checking things over at the Infirmary and reading through medical reports, Julian walked back to his quarters. He felt so tired and couldn't wait to collapse onto the bed and succumb to sleep. His muscles felt tight and weary, he wondered what he did on Romulus that made him so achy and sore.

Walking through the corridor to his quarters, he heard his name being called. Turning around to the source, he spotted Garak waving him over to his shop. Julian smiled and walked towards him, Garak was probably intrigued to know how the meeting on Romulus went.

"Hello Doctor! How was Romulus?" Garak asked from his work desk as soon as Julian stepped foot in his shop. He sounded genuinely interested in hearing about the conference.

"Alright I suppose. Nothing interesting happened, just boring talks with some Romulans," Julian shrugged his shoulder with a lopsided grin. "_Very grey."_

Garak's face lit up. "I told you, Doctor! The Romulans are such a dull race. I believe that the _Vulcan's _have more interesting personalities! At least they wear more vibrant colours," Garak exclaimed as he folded up his latest creation and placed it on a nearby shelf. "So, Doctor. Did anything at _all_ happen when you were there? I don't want to hear it was a worthless trip."

Julian crossed his arms over his chest and leaned up against the wall "All I did was give my talk; nothing really happened." He couldn't mention Section 31, but to be honest, nothing much happened.

"How tedious, dear Doctor. It sounds like you had a boring time." Garak said as he began working on another garment.

"It was pretty boring, actually." Julian mumbled as he caught site of what Garak was holding. It looked like a laser scalpel, but one obviously meant for cutting fabric. _Strange. _He saw it and felt his body tense up, as if he was afraid. But he had no reason to be scared of tools used for _mending clothes!_

Shaking his head to get rid of the uneasy feeling in his stomach, he headed to the door "I've really got to get some sleep, Garak. It's been so uneventful that I just _need _to rest!" He joked as he neared the exit.

Garak peered up from his work, taking note at how slightly pale Julian looked, or maybe it was the light? "Very well, Doctor. I'll meet you for lunch?"

"Same time, same place." Julian called out as he left the shop and walked to his quarters.

XXX

Upon opening his doors, he immediately began to strip, leaving a trail of his clothing to the bedroom. He suddenly felt so tired; it must have been a psychological effect of seeing his bed. It was common knowledge that Cardassian mattresses were uncomfortable, but Romulans' were even worse. He felt like we were sleeping on bricks whilst at the conference; his back was so stiff.

He changed into his pyjamas and curled up in bed. Tugging the duvet close around him, he soon felt himself drift off.

Julian dreamed of blood, darkness, and an all-consuming pain that never released him. One moment he dreamt of walking through the halls to the gathering after his talk, picking up a glass of Romulan Ale and enjoying some conversation. The next moment, it completely changed. The room disappeared around him, leaving him alone in darkness with his glass of Romulan Ale that seemed to be warming up. Glancing down to the glass, he saw it had changed to a thick red liquid which was immediately recognised as blood. _Human blood._

_The glass disappeared and he found himself back on Earth, on the obvious route from the Academy to his home._

_He looked around him, confused to where everything had gone. Things were slightly different from what he remembered to be the simple route. He noticed a table on the grass, a metal table with straps on it and specks of red. _ That wasn't there before. _Walking towards the table, he saw a tray right next to it. Tools he had never seen before were laid out neatly upon it. _

_He looked around him once more, hoping to see someone who could explain what was going on. No one was in sight so he just turned his gaze back to where the table and tray was. Only it wasn't there anymore. It had completely disappeared and there was no sign it had even been there. _

Things are getting weird. _Julian slowly approached where the table had been and saw something shining on the glass. Frowning, he picked it up and studied the thing in his hand. It looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place it._

_Turning it around in his hand, he remembered where he had seen it before. Garak's shop! It was a laser scalpel! Julian couldn't work out why he was dreaming utter nonsense, how had a memory turned into a completely crazy dream?_

_Dropping the scalpel to the grass, he turned round to walk back to the path, when it suddenly went dark. It seemed as if the sun had been pulled down all of a sudden and the moon had taken its place just as quick._

_The street lighting was the only source of light he had, not even the houses were supplying the lights that would normally drape over the area._

_Deciding he didn't have anything to do here, he walked towards his house. He still remembered the route like the back of his hand, even after all these years, everything that had happened he still remembered the little path he used to take every day._

_Nearing the end of the street onto a main road, Julian caught sight of two figures approaching him in the distance. He was interested to see who they were; he could ask what was happening. He walked towards them, wanting answers, when they suddenly broke into a run. _

_Julian stopped his movements; he literally froze on the spot. These beings were running to him, getting ever so closer with every passing second. About to call out to them, they suddenly tackled him to the ground, knocking the wind out of his lungs and leaving him dazed. _

_He couldn't even push himself up, when he was violently punched in the stomach by one of the beings. He was disorientated when they dragged him to an alley, away from any witnesses._

_No one heard his cries of pain as he was repeatedly violated by the thugs. The first took perverse pleasure in hitting him repeatedly in the face as he thrust into him, stretching him, tearing him, leaving him slick with his own blood for the other one to take his turn. _

_Once he was done with, he was pushed down onto the ground, left there like a broken toy. He _hurt! _Why would his mind torture him like this, he couldn't even defend himself; his limbs were immobilized._

_He was kicked in the side and rolled over onto his back by one of the thugs. Julian looked up at the assailant, wanting to see who had so brutally raped him. His breath hitched when he saw it was a Romulan; one Julian had never met before. _

_He couldn't even ask why on Earth a Romulan would be in his nightmare, he couldn't make a sound other than a croak, which the Romulan obviously found amusing as he knelt down and placed a hand on Julian's cheek. Almost affectionately, he began caressing the cheek, before leaning forward so they were eye to eye. He licked Julian's lips and cheek, whispering, "You're so delicious."_

Julian awoke in a cold sweat; _what was that? Why would he dream of something so awful? _He couldn't think straight, he felt his heart hammering away in his chest, his breathing was erratic. He sat up in bed, leaning himself on his elbows as he tried to remember _exactly _what had happened. Like most dreams, things were slowly disappearing from his memory.

There had been something important in the dream, something he should remember... Something bad. He closed his eyes and tried his best to remember the facts and images. _Starfleet, Home, Dark, Scalpel, Table, People. A Romulan… When he tried to picture the alien, he found the image to be distorted; clearly his mind decided is wasn't important to remember the Romulan_.

Shaking his head and dispelling the thoughts, Julian got up from his sweat soaked bed and strolled out into his living room. He didn't even need to call for lights; he knew _exactly _where it was he was looking for. Walking up to the bookshelf, he fetched Kukalaka and brought him back to bed.

It had been awhile since Julian had needed Kukalaka's comfort during the night, but hugging the stuffed bear to his chest made him feel safer. He soon fell back into a troubled sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been one week since the very _in depth _nightmare had first occurred. Since then, Julian had dreamed of being tortured, bullied at school, buried alive, and operated on by _that _Romulan. It always ended the same, with a lick on the face and the words "You're so delicious."

As time passed, the intensity of the nightmares had somewhat decreased but he still always woke up in a cold sweat. After he awoke he could never remember a lot of the details. It frustrated him to no end that he _knew _he had a nightmare about a Romulan, but he simply couldn't remember exactly who he was.

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, placing the PADD down onto his work desk. _Did his dreams mean something? _Surely they did! He doubted it was just a coincidence that he dreamt _six days in a row _about a Romulan, _after _he came back from Romulus. Something must have happened, but he simply couldn't think what.

_Maybe it's a delayed response to my fear of my old teacher. _Julian used to have a Romulan teacher when he was younger, before his enhancements. As a young student, Julian had always been the first to start and the last to finish. He was so eager to do the tasks but just couldn't! His teacher grew more and more agitated with him with every passing moment.

He remembered the time he was taken out of the classroom and the teacher talking to him about his homework, about how it wasn't good enough. Julian remembered how scared he felt at being singled out, the Romulan towered over him and he felt so _tiny! _

Deciding that his teacher from school and his recent visit to Romulus had a lot to do with the nightmares, he rubbed his tired eyes. He had done everything he needed in the Infirmary; everything was up to date, no patients. He just had to inform his nurse his shift was over, and then he'd go and visit the O'Brien's.

Raising himself from his chair, he turned round to walk to the main room when he heard footsteps. He walked in further to see the potential patient and was surprised to see who it was.

"Captain!" Julian exclaimed as he caught sight as Sisko standing in the Infirmary, cradling his right hand. "What happened?"

Sisko visibly started at Julian's voice. He turned round to face his CMO with an embarrassed smile.

"I was playing baseball in the holosuite with Jake" Sisko explained as Julian approached him and gestured to the nearest biobed. "I think I'm getting a little too old to slide headfirst into home."

Julian examined the injured hand carefully, not wanting to do any more damage. He could see it was bruised and by the way some of the fingers lay, it looked broken. Just to double check, he applied a gentle pressure and knew for sure the bones were broken when Sisko winced. "It looks like you have several broken fingers," He flashed his captain a smile as he gently placed the wounded hand onto the biobed. "Don't worry, Sir. I'll have you fixed up in no time at all."

When Sisko nodded, Julian turned around to gather the necessary equipment he would need to treat such an injury. Collecting a nearby tray, he moved to the storage area to place the tools onto the tray.

He placed each and every tool in neat precision onto the tray without thought and strolled back to the Captain, who was sitting patiently.

"Won't be long, sir," Julian called when he came to stop by the biobed, carefully picking up the injured hand. He reached down to the tray to grab the first necessary tool- his laser scalpel- but all of a sudden pulled his hand back uncertainly. He frowned at the device, why did he hesitate? It was just a scalpel, a tool he had used _many _times. Why did he feel so scared when his fingers brushed against the metal surface?

Pushing away the stupid thoughts, he once again reached for the scalpel. At the _slightest _touch, he immediately froze. He smelled the acrid stench of blood. _But that wasn't right! Sisko wasn't bleeding, why-_

Noticing the doctor freeze and stare in confusion at the scalpel, Sisko became slightly concerned "Something wrong?" he asked.

Julian couldn't hear him; everything was quiet around him. All he could hear was a distant scream, begging for mercy and pleading for someone to believe they didn't know anything.

_Feeling a sharp pain, he looked down at his arms and blanched at the sight. His left arm was cut open from his shoulder to his wrist, blood streaming down from the wound and staining everything red. The pain was excruciating! It felt as if his arms and muscles had been sliced down to the bone. He couldn't stop the salty tears dripping off his face and falling onto the open wounds._

Sisko saw the pure horror on Julian's face. He observed as Julian's gaze moved from the scalpel and onto his left arm. He had never seen Julian look so utterly terrified and he was intent on finding out what it was that was causing the abnormal behaviour.

About to call out again, he saw Julian's face change from terror to intense pain, he winced and tears began falling out. "Doctor!" Sisko called out as he went to place a hand on Julian's shoulder, only for Julian to tear it away and collapse to the floor.

_No! This couldn't be! Not his arms! The wound was so deep! Near enough irreparable! No! He wouldn't be able to use his arms again! He needed his hands! He was a Doctor! What's a Doctor without his hands? Oh God, Make it stop. MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!_

Sisko jumped up off the biobed and knelt beside Julian, who had sunken to the floor, clutching his arms tightly. His eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth moved but no sound was coming out. Staring intently at Julian's face to try and see what caused this dramatic change, Sisko noticed the tears for the first time, streaming freely down the Doctor's face.

_Enough! _Sisko had to intervene. He reached out with his good hand to grab the young man's shoulder, squeezing it firmly.

"Doctor!" Sisko whispered, not wanting to startle him. Julian just continued to hold his arms, tears overflowing as he began to whimper. "Doctor!" He tried again more forcibly, but to no avail. "Julian!" Sisko shook the young man, trying to pull him out of the nightmare only he could see.

Finally, Julian seemed to come back to reality as his eyes snapped back in to focus. He stared at Sisko with a look of confusion and fear on his face. His mouth hung open in utter shock.

_Uh oh. _Sisko feared he made it worse. The look Julian had on his face was unlike _any _he had ever seen. Oh, he had seen pain, fear, terror, shock. But _never _all at once and _never _on Julian. This wasn't right…

About to ask if Julian was okay, he startled as Julian rose to his feet, swaying unsteadily and gripping the biobed for support. Sisko followed suit and raised himself up to face Julian. "What happened?" Sisko questioned. "Are you alright?"

Julian blinked at his Captain, wondering what on Earth just happened. He couldn't remember anything. One minute he was about to heal Sisko's hand, the next minute he was on the floor holding his wounded arm. _Wounded? _Looking down, he expected to see blood or bruises or _something. _He was confused and worried when there was absolutely nothing wrong with his arm, but he was _sure_ it was hurt.

Realising he hadn't answered the Captain's question; Julian raised his head to look Sisko in the eyes. He was just as shaken and confused as Sisko. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Julian answered quickly. "I-I-I'm fine now. Sorry, sir, but I, uh, need to go. I'll have one of the nurses come and heal you."

He didn't even wait for a reply when he stumbled out the room in search of a nurse, leaving Sisko alone by the biobed.

Sisko frowned as his CMO left him. Something was definitely wrong. He would have to keep any eye on Julian.

XXX

Julian found a nurse. _Thank God! He wouldn't have to call one. _He walked up to her and put on his best smile, pretended everything was absolutely fine "Captain Sisko is in there," he pointed to the adjoining room "He's broken his hand; you should heal it. I have some, er, very important thing do in my office." He lied and then smiled once more and entered his office. He immediately shut the door behind him and slumped against it, sliding down to the floor as he tried to deduce what had happened.

_He was just going to do a tiny bit of surgery with a tool he has used countless times! Why had such a simple procedure bothered him? And what was that memory? It was so graphic! And detailed! It reminded him of the nightmare he had the night he came back from Romulus. Remembering nothing about what happened in the real world other than seeing the worried face of Captain Sisko, he felt like he was on the edge of a breakdown. And in front of Sisko too! Oh God, he had a fit right in front of his captain! _

Julian buried his face in his hands, groaning at his embarrassment, but more worried than anything. _What was happening to him?_

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Thanks for reading! Be sure to read part two, which will be posted by GeorgieGinger!**


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